Bet Punk v The Queen
Bet Punk v The Queen is a comic novel I’ve written which takes aim at the archaic institution known as the monarchy. Here’s a short extract:
With her dream tantalisingly close, Gaynor was unstoppable. Within a week she had taken a bucket of mashed potato to an old folks’ home and a box of biscuits to a dog’s home. She’d held a party for poor children, a fete for sick children and a makeover session for hairy children. Meanwhile Guy had sent photos to the mass media, tweets to the social media and expensive watches to the Golden Heart judges. So it was no great surprise when the list of Golden Heart winners was announced and Gaynor’s name was at the top of it.
“Just think!” cried Gaynor. “In two weeks’ time I shall be shaking hands with Queen Christabel!”
The very thought drove Gaynor to the sink for a thorough hand-washing followed by lashings of antiseptic gel. Queen Christabel, after all, really was the Queen, even though she’d only been sixteenth in line before the terrible tragedy at the royal polo match. Yes, she’d done a few silly things when she’d been a posh young thing, but no-one could blame her for that. And fair enough, it did go to her head when she was unexpectedly crowned, but she’d stopped building palaces now and even abandoned her plans for a Great Pyramid. No, Queen Christabel was one of us now, a perfectly ordinary person who did perfectly ordinary things, apart from cleaning, shopping and going to work.
With publishers mysteriously nervous of publishing this book, despite it being surely one of my best, I am planning to issue it as an e-book shortly. There’s a facebook page here.